Where's My Stapler??

This is Milton Waddams. He is a man that sits near the top of my imaginary list of the people I most admire. Most have on their list athletes, some sort of philanthropist, or another nobody who came up with a great quote to be remembered by. There might be a few on mine, but this is a man we should all take the time to honor, idolize, or maybe even model ourselves after. Thorough in his work, dedicated to his stapler. Yes this movie is old, but nonetheless a classic. Even today, in every social circle of people who were alive (and aware of being alive) when this movie was made, if you say "Where's my stapler?" in a dorky little voice you will spark a response that mentions the movie Office Space. This movie was made to poke fun at the still current office politics and drama we all deal with on a daily basis. But this isn't the point. The point is Milton, and how we should all aspire to be like him. If simple pleasures at our desk are all we need to make ourselves happy in our jobs then bosses, supervisors, and leaders of all types should pull guys like these out of storage rooms and give them corner offices overlooking the married squirrels. Production would triple, self serving assholes of all types would be forced into the storage closets of the world, and the simplicity of things would once again reign true. All Milton wanted was his stapler. It made him happy. If I were his boss, I would have left him there in his office overlooking those squirrels, and probably given him regular raises for keeping things simple. Why? Because this type of human behavior is easily replaced by technology. Expensive technology. Technology that a company can use to justify fancy television commercials that brandish expensive graphics artistry in order to label themselves as innovators. All the while, poor Milton is out of a job. Along with all the other Milton's. In the meantime, douchebags of the corporate world in charge of such technological innovations have secured their place in douchebag history by getting rid of the best thing that could have ever happened to a company. Instead, the menial tasks of a Milton that a computer can't do are shipped to a 3rd world nation and paid a small fraction of what a Milton earned. Now we are left with unemployment rates skyrocketing, homelessness, political parties pointing fingers, poverty, crime, riots, apocalypse. All because the intentions of technological innovation are severely misguided.

What I mean by misguided is simply this. All over the world countries, colleges, and highly technological businesses "innovate" each day to take the human factor out of whatever product or service it delivers. For example, Japan is developing robot servants...Now why in hell would I want a robot servant? Apparently there is a market somewhere. My solution is much better. Should I ever need a servant, I will hire a Milton. Why? Because a Milton will follow through with everything I ask him/her to, to the letter, and all I have to do is give him/her the simple pleasure they desire. Quite possibly the best damn stapler they desire. If that is all it takes, then so be it, and damn a robot. Millions of dollars developing a useless robot that could have gone to infrastructure and employing those in the majority of the population that have no use for a robot, much less know how to build one. Then once they are all built, there is no use for the robot's builders. Even creepier is the thought that we will one day be ruled by them because of some software virus developed by one of those douchebags celebrating passover in the promotion department. Tangent developing....

So in closing for today I will conclude with a piece of advice to all the corporate leaders out there. Take care of your Milton's. Do not develop technology to replace them or anyone else. Nurture their Milton-ness and you will most assuredly be pleased with their performance. In turn, you won't have to fuss with equipment breaking down or a zillion dollar technical failure meant to save you only millions in the long term. As a leader, your day will consist of perfectly prepared reports, a freedom from ass-kissing office lurches trying to get in your good graces, and a simple daily walk to make sure your Milton's have their simple pleasures. Because you know that if that stapler disappears, Milton will burn your fucking building down. A risk I would take as a business leader. Create products and services people can continue building or using. NOT those technologies meant to eliminate the employment of people. That's just asinine. Who is going to buy your products or use your services when nobody has any money because they have no job?? So simple it's as stupid as the guy who voluntarily builds the robot to replace him.

Going Green...

Tonight we had some of our great friends from Maryland come up to spend the afternoon with us and go out to a nice dinner. After a dinner at Olive Garden, we came back to the house for some coffee and a little bit of chit chat. I got into a conversation with my good friend Henry about alternative energies and he expressed a serious interest in converting his home, in whole or part, to either solar or wind. Of course any conversations of this nature get me going because I am a huge fan of these energies. However, I think that both he and I agree that it isn't to save the planet solely, it's more like it is much better than paying the blood sucking "bastards" of a utility company outrageous rates for something that with minimal investment you can have for free.

So when I say I am going green, it means more like I am "going for the green." In return, my greediness for the green back will ultimately save the planet. Or at least contribute to it. But I don't see anything wrong with taking back my hard earned money to support my capitalist nature in other ways. Like purchasing man toys, or niceties for my wife that keep her happy.

I look at people who congregate to save the planet and have to ask myself why. Recently during the "Carbonhagen" climate summit I sat back and laughed at all of the hypocrisy abound emanating from those that decided to congregate in front of this summit for days on end preaching to the rest of the world how "green" we should all be, all the while chastising attendees of the summit for their private jet usage, cars, etc. Insert my favorite word here: Boneheads. I'm sure that the methods in which these people got there were green in nature, and no carbon was produced in the process. Not to mention their little shin-dig raised extra security concerns, which meant more vehicle usage by police. People gotta eat and I know there were plenty of recycle bins and waste cans available (not, that shit ended up on the ground). Just two minor examples of how sometimes gathering for global good is just as bad as the reasons that brought them to gather in the first place. It's a shame really that people feel they need to "gather" to get a point across. I see a protest on t.v. for a mere second as I am scrolling down my cable guide to a more preferred form of time wasting, mind sucking television. BUT, I might be more in tuned to entertain a listen should it be coming from my neighbor in passing. Maybe over coffee, after a nice dinner at Olive Garden.

I meant to go off on that tangent because the point of this is that I never would have known that my friend Henry was interested in alternative energies. We discussed more and came up with more ideas on how to plan future initiatives into our lifestyles simply by word of mouth, a friendly discussion. In fact, the same word of mouth that this blog is intended. Really its a shame that more people can't just sit down with their neighbors and work towards the future by sharing ideas instead of judging those that have not yet caught on, or choose not to because all they see is those few fleeting moments of protest that remind them of something violent, or as personal attack on their current lifestyle. Human nature dictates that when provoked in a negative manner, defenses go up. I don't care who you are. So when a group of hippies is marching against SUV's, then SUV owners are going to instantly flip the channel and shrug it off as, well, stupid hippies. Don't even get me started on setting car dealerships on fire because they sell gas sucking cars. That just blows my fucking mind. Bottom line, extremism doesn't work in this case. We're not talking human rights violations or anything of that nature where a government SHOULD intervene. We're talking about generating our own power from little cool windmills on our property, or solar panels on our roof. If I have a gas sucking truck or SUV in front of my house, well then you'll know I used it to go pick up my own solar panels, windmill installation parts, maybe rain barrels to build my water collection system, or the things I need to build my own garden and maintain it and so on....A Prius is a fine vehicle for driving to protests and making your own statement, but in reality, the rest of us need a vehicle that can fit more shit than 5 hippies, picket signs, coffee cups, and ipods. Whoa, I sense hostility in my words. See what even just the thought of protest can do? It's really a shame that people can't be happy with just practicing their said issue with the world and maybe just talking benefits in casual conversation to keep it going. Instead they lack fulfillment and have to gather amongst like minds to seek approval for their thoughts and broadcast them to the world expecting us to listen. Making a fucking mess in the process. Again, we are not talking war, genocide, or things of that nature. We are talking about green initiatives. Things to better ourselves, and in my case, my financial situation. Talk it up to the greedy that if they switch from regular light bulbs to those new fancy fluorescent ones that they will save "X" amount of dollars, and you might see those bulbs fly off the shelves.

Either way, I am just getting some thoughts out because I feel that all of this is tied together and solved simply by approach. I don't like giving my money to someone so they can live high on the hog when I can get the same product for damn near free. If some environmentalist walked up to me and said "hey buddy, I have a truck here for you that looks EXACTLY the same as the one you have, sounds the same, runs the same, does everything yours will, but the fuel source is completely free or 1/2 the cost of gasoline" I might be inclined to check it out, maybe invite the guy in for coffee. When someone walks up to me and says "You're killing the planet driving that big SUV" I might say to that person that dead bodies make great fertilizer, and you not being here is one less person the earth has to sustain. You know, just for the whole fear effect "defenses up" retort...By the way, I have had that happen to me which is why I despise those who force beliefs down my throat so much. Little snooty chick with a bandana on her head wearing shoes made of something I would rather be smoking.

In closing, I realize that my few bouts of hostility above can also be viewed as hypocritical towards good, neighborly relations in getting something accomplished. If we all practiced what we preached in its entirety, the world would be a great place. The best we can do is work towards it by finding each person's "angle" and one by one the message gets across. Hippie's save the planet, I got money in the bank. Might even feel good about how I got it. Hell yeah.

Boycotting Businesses for Differing Political Views

I started out this rainy, miserable day wondering what we could do to entertain our kids who have been cooped up in this house because of the weather. We had decided a while back that we would take them to the Build a Bear workshop to make their own "travel buddies" for our upcoming move to Okinawa. Today was a perfect day for that to happen. However before we left I was chatting with a friend online and she made the statement that she was surprised I would shop at Build a Bear after their recent (and recently rescinded) video's depicting an elf freaking out that the North Pole was going to melt.

I will explain my take on Global Warming in a later blog, but for this one I will just say that there are things going on that I am skeptical about and I have voiced my opinion plenty. Thus giving my friend the impression that I might be so hardcore as to boycott them. That might be true, and it is true in her case as she sent the BaB stuff she bought for her kids back. I have absolutely no problem with what she did, but this isn't about her really. My choice to patronize this business was solely based on the fact that my kids wanted one, and while I do not agree with their position on global warming, it just isn't enough to stop me. I don't see BaB as a "radical" corporation. Which are the ones I am after, and the ones I would definitely boycott. I see them simply as a company whose founder may be just a bit misguided, and with their quickness in recanting their video's, also tells me that they are far from "whacko" about global warming.

This whole conversation got me thinking about the feasibility of boycotting companies based on political views. From my side, I am pro-gun, anti-global warming, pro-hunting, and most everything that falls into those types of societal beliefs. Except weed. Weed should definitely be legalized. Maybe then I wouldn't be so high strung. Anyway, for example looking at the NRA's black list of companies, organizations, celebrities, scholars, and businessmen/women who actively support gun control it is unfathomable to boycott them unless you completely disconnect yourself from society. This means growing all of your own food (and weed), making your own gas, watching no t.v., movies, or news whatsoever, keeping all of your money in your mattress, not calling the cops in case of emergency, etc. etc. etc. The NRA's black list is in normal font upwards of 14 pages long I believe. They include names such 7-Eleven Inc. and Clorox Corporation. Media outlets like ABC, NY Times, Time Magazine. Famous faces like Matt Damon and George Clooney. Basically, Hollywood's liberal elite. These few names are only a drop of melted polar ice cap water when it comes to this list. The one that hits closest to home is the American Medical Association and the National Education Agency. So now I have to home school using materials that I have researched thoroughly as to not include any endorsement by the NEA, and if I need medical care, I have to look for a medicine man in the hopes that he has something that will cure whatever ailment I get from smoking (weed).

So is it possible to boycott businesses that don't share your political beliefs? I say no. It is not. Reading through both sides of many lists that are for or against any topic you can possibly think of, if one were to attempt to do so by adhering to these lists, then that person would have reached a level of obsessive-compulsiveness that would require constant medical observation and treatment, in-patient. BUT then they would have to deal with the fact that the facility they are in is monitored by the American Medical Association. Ever been walking in the woods and realize you just walked through a gigantic spider web and you start going crazy looking for the spider and trying to get the web off your face? Think of that about 1000 times over and you have the outcome of trying to boycott businesses that don't share your beliefs.

How can we control these maniacal urges to take down these blacklisted people? My solution is this. I don't plan on giving up the occasional 7-Eleven hot dog, so what could I do? Maybe write a letter. A letter asking the executives of this company to change their ways. Not necessarily to my way, but simply a different way that is more neutral on topics such as gun control or global warming. Can't do much about those individuals that speak or donate money from themselves as everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The difference being that boycotting a company does hurt the economy, jobs, etc. But boycotting an individual is easy and really hurts only them. Especially those who carry guns on t.v. or the movies, but are so arrogant to tell the rest of us what we can't or should not do.

Case in point, Build a Bear is a proud sponsor of the World Wildlife Fund. They even sell their bears and such branded with the WWF logo. Now if one were to research the WWF on say hunting, you might find that every animal rights group out there hates the WWF because of their stance on it. They are neither for or against it, and recognize it as a necessary tool for controlling over abundances of wild animals. This has the ARA's panties in a bunch big time. Even that whacko and his group of kiddies on the Sea Shepherd (Whale Wars) have tasked their brethren over at the ALF to TAKE ACTION! ALF being the Animal Liberation Front, which also sits on the DHS domestic terrorist list for random acts of violence and property destruction. So basically everything is so tied together that attempting to unravel all of the ties would be like trying to unravel tangled up fishing line. It's easier to just cut it and go with new line. By the way, WWF is all over this Global Warming thing too.

Remember growing up we had those "choose your own adventure" books? Boycotting a business based on their political leanings is pretty much like reading one of those that goes on for infinity. The adventure never ends, but somewhere on page 423, you will have to choose between sanity or a trip to the nuthouse. Me? I choose to put the book down and retain my sanity.

The O'lympics

Read a commentary this morning from Roland Martin on CNN voicing his displeasure with comments that were made on the blog "Red State" about the U.S. loss of the Olympic location pick. I envisioned this guy pounding away on his computer writing hateful things about conservatives and their patriotism until his fingers were black and blue. Probably hitting the delete key more than a hundred times to clean it up for publication. Well, here is my take on that commentary and possibly the reason why the Windy City was not chosen.

Contrary to popular belief, it was foolish of BHO to think he could fly over in his big shiny jet and woo the Olympic Committee by shear presence alone. Not to mention his choice of city was undoubtedly a bit biased. Now, I can only imagine those conservatives (patriots) saying WTF when Super Fly announced that his pick was Chicago. Well, duh. Martin decrys these opinions by saying that Chicago was a choice for America. Just typing that made me spew coffee out of my nose. That's twice today. The first time was when I read the original article.

Now, I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't want Chicago-vich representing America's patriotism. I wonder if Mark Sanford is quietly cheering that Brazil got picked though? Heh heh heh...Hiking on the Appalachian Trail..That's a good one...Off topic.

My opinion on Martin's thought of American's being more happy if they beat other countries on their own soil is completely opposite. You see, I would prefer to go somewhere else and show them what we are made of. Now, if Brazil was hosting the International Consortium of Wet T-Shirt contests, then I might be a bit nervous. Does it really matter though where the Olympics are held? To me, no. It's purely economical and more often political when leaders want to host the games. Americans will celebrate their patriotism in the manner in which they see fit. I'll be cheering them on no matter where they are. I'm not saying that I would not be happy if the games were held here, but this also leads me to another point.

Historically, the Olympic games to a terrorist is comparable to a bunch of rednecks setting up camp in an "All Nude, BYOB" strip club on a Friday night. It's heaven for them. I have to ask if our nation's security is prepared for that considering that everyday I read something on the news about "Die America." It's not about patriotism in the flag waving form that most people believe, it's about being smart. I'm guessing that this topic was not off the Olympic Committee's table either. Being smart to preserve this nation is in fact a form patriotism. If the committee even considered this security nightmare, then they are thinking smarter than our own nation. I feel personally that Obama's choice to push for this was purely political. My thought is that he should tend the matters at hand instead of taking on an increased security concern that this country does not need at the moment.

Mother Earth News and Population Control

If you have never read this magazine, I urge you to pick up a copy. Be warned though, a recent article posted by some whacko suggests that the U.S. government should take a serious look into population control ala China style. This article was written months ago, but the fallout from it is still apparent in more recent issues in the "Letters" section. People announcing their departure from the list of subscribers in a grand fashion citing "liberal spew" or the accusatory "Communist agenda" as the reason. These are all typical responses, but the ones that make my blood boil are the ones who are in agreeance with the writer. To sum up a bevy of responses, "I agree with (the author) and believe the government should take a serious look into this as our Earth cannot support the vast amounts of people present and the ever growing populations."

Are you fucking kidding me? The same magazine that teaches people self sufficiency is promoting this idea? Obviously this bonehead has some other agenda. If I was a betting man, I would say that this guy is concerned about minorities breeding out of fucking control. That's right, i'm turning this into a race thang. No other moron would come up with this idea and package it and sell it as "saving the Earth." I know he's not talking about all those country folks that grow their own food and live off their own little chunk of land while raising all their little farm hands. Me thinks city folk, and inner city to boot. I also don't think its any big secret what races make up a huge population of inner city people. There is no other obvious reason. My word to all those inner city folks is this: If you wanna have 10 kids, go for it, but YOU better be able to support them. Damn those that will tell me that I can only have a certain amount of kids.

I'm reaching here, but another far out rationalization is that this dude (who wasted a fortune on his education) is upset because development is taking over all the perfect landing zones for when the mother ship and the rest of the fleet arrive to assimilate us. Curses you developers and breeders!

The occassional ramblings of some idiot (sound familiar?) will not sway me enough to stop purchasing this magazine though. It's chock full of some great information on what to do to be self sufficient and live cheaply. Which is what we should all focus on instead of communist ideas such as population control.

My question is when is the human race going to stop being such zombies and letting out of control thought run their lives simply because it's easier?

Oh No You Di'int!

There is nothing more in life to fear than this right here. Some see her as the All Mighty of female leaders, second only to the Ice Queen herself, Hillary. All I see is a human possessed. Possessed with something unexplainable. I don't quite know what it is, but I am guessing that it has something to do with little Nancy not getting her way when she was just a little tot. Either way, this picture in itself scares the living shit out of me knowing that this psycho is sitting as Obama's #2 (or sniffing it). It's bad enough Dear Leader and his idiot excuse for a #1 are both molding this country into a "give a fish" nation instead of a "teach to fish" nation. Bottom line: Bitch is crazy. This picture proves it. Something tells me she wants that big round office in that big white house. God help us all should that shit happen. I will know that at that point this country is done, and any remnants of it will be found on the bottom of the ocean a few hundred years from now by some scuba diver. Hell, it's almost there now.

Just Venting is the Best Therapy

Ok, so it's been a while since I have been to this particular blog o' mine. What drew me back here is a conversation I had with my wife the other day about how funny she thought it was that I read a celebrity blog called DListed (http://dlisted.com/). Anyone that has spent any amount of time with me knows that I am about as anti-celebrity as a person gets. The one thing that draws me to dlisted.com is that the writer prides himself on chastizing celebrities in the media in THE most rude and crude manner he can. Yep, from my taking, he is gay too. However, I kinda pass over the talk about where he wants to put his "peen." Although the whole thing is hysterically funny.

Anyway, in this conversation with my wife she told me that I should keep on blogging to get out all of that anger and hatred I have for the various things I think about that are wrong with the world today. Including celebrities. She also noted that I should not hold back as in previous postings or in everyday conversation. Now, i'm not the type of person that is going to ruin a conversation by telling someone that they are a complete douchebag face to face. I maintain my civility in person for good reason...but not here. Not anymore. I have always believed in calling a spade a spade, and I believe someone has every right to call me a spade too. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Some stink, some don't.

So here I am, back again. Quite possibly the best therapy that one could have when they have anger issues. An ability to vent. It's quick, it's easy, and it's free. Best of all, I could click the little "monetize" tab at the top and get mother fucking paid for it. I could really care less if someone reads this junk as it is just stuff in my head that I need to get out. Some pretty demented and perverted stuff, but just as well.