Ramblings of Dan

Where's My Stapler??

2011-08-09T11:19:00.003-04:00

This is Milton Waddams. He is a man that sits near the top of my imaginary list of the people I most admire. Most have on their list athletes, some sort of philanthropist, or another nobody who came up with a great quote to be remembered by. There might be a few on mine, but this is a man we should all take the time to honor, idolize, or maybe even model ourselves after. Thorough in his work, dedicated to his stapler. Yes this movie is old, but nonetheless a classic. Even today, in every social circle of people who were alive (and aware of being alive) when this movie was made, if you say "Where's my stapler?" in a dorky little voice you will spark a response that mentions the movie Office Space. This movie was made to poke fun at the still current office politics and drama we all deal with on a daily basis. But this isn't the point. The point is Milton, and how we should all aspire to be like him. If simple pleasures at our desk are all we need to make ourselves happy in our jobs then bosses, supervisors, and leaders of all types should pull guys like these out of storage rooms and give them corner offices overlooking the married squirrels. Production would triple, self serving assholes of all types would be forced into the storage closets of the world, and the simplicity of things would once again reign true. All Milton wanted was his stapler. It made him happy. If I were his boss, I would have left him there in his office overlooking those squirrels, and probably given him regular raises for keeping things simple. Why? Because this type of human behavior is easily replaced by technology. Expensive technology. Technology that a company can use to justify fancy television commercials that brandish expensive graphics artistry in order to label themselves as innovators. All the while, poor Milton is out of a job. Along with all the other Milton's. In the meantime, douchebags of the corporate world in charge of such technological innovations have secured their place in douchebag history by getting rid of the best thing that could have ever happened to a company. Instead, the menial tasks of a Milton that a computer can't do are shipped to a 3rd world nation and paid a small fraction of what a Milton earned. Now we are left with unemployment rates skyrocketing, homelessness, political parties pointing fingers, poverty, crime, riots, apocalypse. All because the intentions of technological innovation are severely misguided.

What I mean by misguided is simply this. All over the world countries, colleges, and highly technological businesses "innovate" each day to take the human factor out of whatever product or service it delivers. For example, Japan is developing robot servants...Now why in hell would I want a robot servant? Apparently there is a market somewhere. My solution is much better. Should I ever need a servant, I will hire a Milton. Why? Because a Milton will follow through with everything I ask him/her to, to the letter, and all I have to do is give him/her the simple pleasure they desire. Quite possibly the best damn stapler they desire. If that is all it takes, then so be it, and damn a robot. Millions of dollars developing a useless robot that could have gone to infrastructure and employing those in the majority of the population that have no use for a robot, much less know how to build one. Then once they are all built, there is no use for the robot's builders. Even creepier is the thought that we will one day be ruled by them because of some software virus developed by one of those douchebags celebrating passover in the promotion department. Tangent developing....

So in closing for today I will conclude with a piece of advice to all the corporate leaders out there. Take care of your Milton's. Do not develop technology to replace them or anyone else. Nurture their Milton-ness and you will most assuredly be pleased with their performance. In turn, you won't have to fuss with equipment breaking down or a zillion dollar technical failure meant to save you only millions in the long term. As a leader, your day will consist of perfectly prepared reports, a freedom from ass-kissing office lurches trying to get in your good graces, and a simple daily walk to make sure your Milton's have their simple pleasures. Because you know that if that stapler disappears, Milton will burn your fucking building down. A risk I would take as a business leader. Create products and services people can continue building or using. NOT those technologies meant to eliminate the employment of people. That's just asinine. Who is going to buy your products or use your services when nobody has any money because they have no job?? So simple it's as stupid as the guy who voluntarily builds the robot to replace him.

Going Green...

2010-01-09T21:19:00.004-05:00

Tonight we had some of our great friends from Maryland come up to spend the afternoon with us and go out to a nice dinner. After a dinner at Olive Garden, we came back to the house for some coffee and a little bit of chit chat. I got into a conversation with my good friend Henry about alternative energies and he expressed a serious interest in converting his home, in whole or part, to either solar or wind. Of course any conversations of this nature get me going because I am a huge fan of these energies. However, I think that both he and I agree that it isn't to save the planet solely, it's more like it is much better than paying the blood sucking "bastards" of a utility company outrageous rates for something that with minimal investment you can have for free.

So when I say I am going green, it means more like I am "going for the green." In return, my greediness for the green back will ultimately save the planet. Or at least contribute to it. But I don't see anything wrong with taking back my hard earned money to support my capitalist nature in other ways. Like purchasing man toys, or niceties for my wife that keep her happy.

I look at people who congregate to save the planet and have to ask myself why. Recently during the "Carbonhagen" climate summit I sat back and laughed at all of the hypocrisy abound emanating from those that decided to congregate in front of this summit for days on end preaching to the rest of the world how "green" we should all be, all the while chastising attendees of the summit for their private jet usage, cars, etc. Insert my favorite word here: Boneheads. I'm sure that the methods in which these people got there were green in nature, and no carbon was produced in the process. Not to mention their little shin-dig raised extra security concerns, which meant more vehicle usage by police. People gotta eat and I know there were plenty of recycle bins and waste cans available (not, that shit ended up on the ground). Just two minor examples of how sometimes gathering for global good is just as bad as the reasons that brought them to gather in the first place. It's a shame really that people feel they need to "gather" to get a point across. I see a protest on t.v. for a mere second as I am scrolling down my cable guide to a more preferred form of time wasting, mind sucking television. BUT, I might be more in tuned to entertain a listen should it be coming from my neighbor in passing. Maybe over coffee, after a nice dinner at Olive Garden.

I meant to go off on that tangent because the point of this is that I never would have known that my friend Henry was interested in alternative energies. We discussed more and came up with more ideas on how to plan future initiatives into our lifestyles simply by word of mouth, a friendly discussion. In fact, the same word of mouth that this blog is intended. Really its a shame that more people can't just sit down with their neighbors and work towards the future by sharing ideas instead of judging those that have not yet caught on, or choose not to because all they see is those few fleeting moments of protest that remind them of something violent, or as personal attack on their current lifestyle. Human nature dictates that when provoked in a negative manner, defenses go up. I don't care who you are. So when a group of hippies is marching against SUV's, then SUV owners are going to instantly flip the channel and shrug it off as, well, stupid hippies. Don't even get me started on setting car dealerships on fire because they sell gas sucking cars. That just blows my fucking mind. Bottom line, extremism doesn't work in this case. We're not talking human rights violations or anything of that nature where a government SHOULD intervene. We're talking about generating our own power from little cool windmills on our property, or solar panels on our roof. If I have a gas sucking truck or SUV in front of my house, well then you'll know I used it to go pick up my own solar panels, windmill installation parts, maybe rain barrels to build my water collection system, or the things I need to build my own garden and maintain it and so on....A Prius is a fine vehicle for driving to protests and making your own statement, but in reality, the rest of us need a vehicle that can fit more shit than 5 hippies, picket signs, coffee cups, and ipods. Whoa, I sense hostility in my words. See what even just the thought of protest can do? It's really a shame that people can't be happy with just practicing their said issue with the world and maybe just talking benefits in casual conversation to keep it going. Instead they lack fulfillment and have to gather amongst like minds to seek approval for their thoughts and broadcast them to the world expecting us to listen. Making a fucking mess in the process. Again, we are not talking war, genocide, or things of that nature. We are talking about green initiatives. Things to better ourselves, and in my case, my financial situation. Talk it up to the greedy that if they switch from regular light bulbs to those new fancy fluorescent ones that they will save "X" amount of dollars, and you might see those bulbs fly off the shelves.

Either way, I am just getting some thoughts out because I feel that all of this is tied together and solved simply by approach. I don't like giving my money to someone so they can live high on the hog when I can get the same product for damn near free. If some environmentalist walked up to me and said "hey buddy, I have a truck here for you that looks EXACTLY the same as the one you have, sounds the same, runs the same, does everything yours will, but the fuel source is completely free or 1/2 the cost of gasoline" I might be inclined to check it out, maybe invite the guy in for coffee. When someone walks up to me and says "You're killing the planet driving that big SUV" I might say to that person that dead bodies make great fertilizer, and you not being here is one less person the earth has to sustain. You know, just for the whole fear effect "defenses up" retort...By the way, I have had that happen to me which is why I despise those who force beliefs down my throat so much. Little snooty chick with a bandana on her head wearing shoes made of something I would rather be smoking.

In closing, I realize that my few bouts of hostility above can also be viewed as hypocritical towards good, neighborly relations in getting something accomplished. If we all practiced what we preached in its entirety, the world would be a great place. The best we can do is work towards it by finding each person's "angle" and one by one the message gets across. Hippie's save the planet, I got money in the bank. Might even feel good about how I got it. Hell yeah.

Boycotting Businesses for Differing Political Views

2009-12-26T20:18:00.010-05:00

I started out this rainy, miserable day wondering what we could do to entertain our kids who have been cooped up in this house because of the weather. We had decided a while back that we would take them to the Build a Bear workshop to make their own "travel buddies" for our upcoming move to Okinawa. Today was a perfect day for that to happen. However before we left I was chatting with a friend online and she made the statement that she was surprised I would shop at Build a Bear after their recent (and recently rescinded) video's depicting an elf freaking out that the North Pole was going to melt.

I will explain my take on Global Warming in a later blog, but for this one I will just say that there are things going on that I am skeptical about and I have voiced my opinion plenty. Thus giving my friend the impression that I might be so hardcore as to boycott them. That might be true, and it is true in her case as she sent the BaB stuff she bought for her kids back. I have absolutely no problem with what she did, but this isn't about her really. My choice to patronize this business was solely based on the fact that my kids wanted one, and while I do not agree with their position on global warming, it just isn't enough to stop me. I don't see BaB as a "radical" corporation. Which are the ones I am after, and the ones I would definitely boycott. I see them simply as a company whose founder may be just a bit misguided, and with their quickness in recanting their video's, also tells me that they are far from "whacko" about global warming.

This whole conversation got me thinking about the feasibility of boycotting companies based on political views. From my side, I am pro-gun, anti-global warming, pro-hunting, and most everything that falls into those types of societal beliefs. Except weed. Weed should definitely be legalized. Maybe then I wouldn't be so high strung. Anyway, for example looking at the NRA's black list of companies, organizations, celebrities, scholars, and businessmen/women who actively support gun control it is unfathomable to boycott them unless you completely disconnect yourself from society. This means growing all of your own food (and weed), making your own gas, watching no t.v., movies, or news whatsoever, keeping all of your money in your mattress, not calling the cops in case of emergency, etc. etc. etc. The NRA's black list is in normal font upwards of 14 pages long I believe. They include names such 7-Eleven Inc. and Clorox Corporation. Media outlets like ABC, NY Times, Time Magazine. Famous faces like Matt Damon and George Clooney. Basically, Hollywood's liberal elite. These few names are only a drop of melted polar ice cap water when it comes to this list. The one that hits closest to home is the American Medical Association and the National Education Agency. So now I have to home school using materials that I have researched thoroughly as to not include any endorsement by the NEA, and if I need medical care, I have to look for a medicine man in the hopes that he has something that will cure whatever ailment I get from smoking (weed).

So is it possible to boycott businesses that don't share your political beliefs? I say no. It is not. Reading through both sides of many lists that are for or against any topic you can possibly think of, if one were to attempt to do so by adhering to these lists, then that person would have reached a level of obsessive-compulsiveness that would require constant medical observation and treatment, in-patient. BUT then they would have to deal with the fact that the facility they are in is monitored by the American Medical Association. Ever been walking in the woods and realize you just walked through a gigantic spider web and you start going crazy looking for the spider and trying to get the web off your face? Think of that about 1000 times over and you have the outcome of trying to boycott businesses that don't share your beliefs.

How can we control these maniacal urges to take down these blacklisted people? My solution is this. I don't plan on giving up the occasional 7-Eleven hot dog, so what could I do? Maybe write a letter. A letter asking the executives of this company to change their ways. Not necessarily to my way, but simply a different way that is more neutral on topics such as gun control or global warming. Can't do much about those individuals that speak or donate money from themselves as everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The difference being that boycotting a company does hurt the economy, jobs, etc. But boycotting an individual is easy and really hurts only them. Especially those who carry guns on t.v. or the movies, but are so arrogant to tell the rest of us what we can't or should not do.

Case in point, Build a Bear is a proud sponsor of the World Wildlife Fund. They even sell their bears and such branded with the WWF logo. Now if one were to research the WWF on say hunting, you might find that every animal rights group out there hates the WWF because of their stance on it. They are neither for or against it, and recognize it as a necessary tool for controlling over abundances of wild animals. This has the ARA's panties in a bunch big time. Even that whacko and his group of kiddies on the Sea Shepherd (Whale Wars) have tasked their brethren over at the ALF to TAKE ACTION! ALF being the Animal Liberation Front, which also sits on the DHS domestic terrorist list for random acts of violence and property destruction. So basically everything is so tied together that attempting to unravel all of the ties would be like trying to unravel tangled up fishing line. It's easier to just cut it and go with new line. By the way, WWF is all over this Global Warming thing too.

Remember growing up we had those "choose your own adventure" books? Boycotting a business based on their political leanings is pretty much like reading one of those that goes on for infinity. The adventure never ends, but somewhere on page 423, you will have to choose between sanity or a trip to the nuthouse. Me? I choose to put the book down and retain my sanity.

The O'lympics

2009-10-04T06:52:00.003-04:00

Read a commentary this morning from Roland Martin on CNN voicing his displeasure with comments that were made on the blog "Red State" about the U.S. loss of the Olympic location pick. I envisioned this guy pounding away on his computer writing hateful things about conservatives and their patriotism until his fingers were black and blue. Probably hitting the delete key more than a hundred times to clean it up for publication. Well, here is my take on that commentary and possibly the reason why the Windy City was not chosen.

Contrary to popular belief, it was foolish of BHO to think he could fly over in his big shiny jet and woo the Olympic Committee by shear presence alone. Not to mention his choice of city was undoubtedly a bit biased. Now, I can only imagine those conservatives (patriots) saying WTF when Super Fly announced that his pick was Chicago. Well, duh. Martin decrys these opinions by saying that Chicago was a choice for America. Just typing that made me spew coffee out of my nose. That's twice today. The first time was when I read the original article.

Now, I don't know about you, but I certainly wouldn't want Chicago-vich representing America's patriotism. I wonder if Mark Sanford is quietly cheering that Brazil got picked though? Heh heh heh...Hiking on the Appalachian Trail..That's a good one...Off topic.

My opinion on Martin's thought of American's being more happy if they beat other countries on their own soil is completely opposite. You see, I would prefer to go somewhere else and show them what we are made of. Now, if Brazil was hosting the International Consortium of Wet T-Shirt contests, then I might be a bit nervous. Does it really matter though where the Olympics are held? To me, no. It's purely economical and more often political when leaders want to host the games. Americans will celebrate their patriotism in the manner in which they see fit. I'll be cheering them on no matter where they are. I'm not saying that I would not be happy if the games were held here, but this also leads me to another point.

Historically, the Olympic games to a terrorist is comparable to a bunch of rednecks setting up camp in an "All Nude, BYOB" strip club on a Friday night. It's heaven for them. I have to ask if our nation's security is prepared for that considering that everyday I read something on the news about "Die America." It's not about patriotism in the flag waving form that most people believe, it's about being smart. I'm guessing that this topic was not off the Olympic Committee's table either. Being smart to preserve this nation is in fact a form patriotism. If the committee even considered this security nightmare, then they are thinking smarter than our own nation. I feel personally that Obama's choice to push for this was purely political. My thought is that he should tend the matters at hand instead of taking on an increased security concern that this country does not need at the moment.

Mother Earth News and Population Control

2009-09-24T18:13:00.006-04:00

If you have never read this magazine, I urge you to pick up a copy. Be warned though, a recent article posted by some whacko suggests that the U.S. government should take a serious look into population control ala China style. This article was written months ago, but the fallout from it is still apparent in more recent issues in the "Letters" section. People announcing their departure from the list of subscribers in a grand fashion citing "liberal spew" or the accusatory "Communist agenda" as the reason. These are all typical responses, but the ones that make my blood boil are the ones who are in agreeance with the writer. To sum up a bevy of responses, "I agree with (the author) and believe the government should take a serious look into this as our Earth cannot support the vast amounts of people present and the ever growing populations."

Are you fucking kidding me? The same magazine that teaches people self sufficiency is promoting this idea? Obviously this bonehead has some other agenda. If I was a betting man, I would say that this guy is concerned about minorities breeding out of fucking control. That's right, i'm turning this into a race thang. No other moron would come up with this idea and package it and sell it as "saving the Earth." I know he's not talking about all those country folks that grow their own food and live off their own little chunk of land while raising all their little farm hands. Me thinks city folk, and inner city to boot. I also don't think its any big secret what races make up a huge population of inner city people. There is no other obvious reason. My word to all those inner city folks is this: If you wanna have 10 kids, go for it, but YOU better be able to support them. Damn those that will tell me that I can only have a certain amount of kids.

I'm reaching here, but another far out rationalization is that this dude (who wasted a fortune on his education) is upset because development is taking over all the perfect landing zones for when the mother ship and the rest of the fleet arrive to assimilate us. Curses you developers and breeders!

The occassional ramblings of some idiot (sound familiar?) will not sway me enough to stop purchasing this magazine though. It's chock full of some great information on what to do to be self sufficient and live cheaply. Which is what we should all focus on instead of communist ideas such as population control.

My question is when is the human race going to stop being such zombies and letting out of control thought run their lives simply because it's easier?

Oh No You Di'int!

2009-09-24T14:39:00.004-04:00

There is nothing more in life to fear than this right here. Some see her as the All Mighty of female leaders, second only to the Ice Queen herself, Hillary. All I see is a human possessed. Possessed with something unexplainable. I don't quite know what it is, but I am guessing that it has something to do with little Nancy not getting her way when she was just a little tot. Either way, this picture in itself scares the living shit out of me knowing that this psycho is sitting as Obama's #2 (or sniffing it). It's bad enough Dear Leader and his idiot excuse for a #1 are both molding this country into a "give a fish" nation instead of a "teach to fish" nation. Bottom line: Bitch is crazy. This picture proves it. Something tells me she wants that big round office in that big white house. God help us all should that shit happen. I will know that at that point this country is done, and any remnants of it will be found on the bottom of the ocean a few hundred years from now by some scuba diver. Hell, it's almost there now.

Just Venting is the Best Therapy

2009-09-24T13:21:00.005-04:00

Ok, so it's been a while since I have been to this particular blog o' mine. What drew me back here is a conversation I had with my wife the other day about how funny she thought it was that I read a celebrity blog called DListed (http://dlisted.com/). Anyone that has spent any amount of time with me knows that I am about as anti-celebrity as a person gets. The one thing that draws me to dlisted.com is that the writer prides himself on chastizing celebrities in the media in THE most rude and crude manner he can. Yep, from my taking, he is gay too. However, I kinda pass over the talk about where he wants to put his "peen." Although the whole thing is hysterically funny.

Anyway, in this conversation with my wife she told me that I should keep on blogging to get out all of that anger and hatred I have for the various things I think about that are wrong with the world today. Including celebrities. She also noted that I should not hold back as in previous postings or in everyday conversation. Now, i'm not the type of person that is going to ruin a conversation by telling someone that they are a complete douchebag face to face. I maintain my civility in person for good reason...but not here. Not anymore. I have always believed in calling a spade a spade, and I believe someone has every right to call me a spade too. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Some stink, some don't.

So here I am, back again. Quite possibly the best therapy that one could have when they have anger issues. An ability to vent. It's quick, it's easy, and it's free. Best of all, I could click the little "monetize" tab at the top and get mother fucking paid for it. I could really care less if someone reads this junk as it is just stuff in my head that I need to get out. Some pretty demented and perverted stuff, but just as well.

Merry Christmas to All

2008-12-25T09:43:00.001-05:00

To All My Democrat Friends:Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.

To My Republican Friends:Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Hippies and Overpriced Coffee

2008-12-13T20:04:00.002-05:00

I just got back from Borders book store and bought Glenn Beck's An Inconvenient Book. While I was there, I started feeling nauseated at the sheer amount of Obama (and family) material they have in there. No matter which way I turned...Obama this, Obama that. Calendars, Pens, Books, Posters, Cards, Magazines, the list goes on. Madness. In preparation for my move to Spain, I visited the travel section and grabbed a travel book to familiarize myself. After finding one I liked, I caught myself flipping through it to make sure no Obama propaganda had been either published, or slipped in somehow. After all, he is the leader of the world now. I must make sure that my viewpoint of the area I will be living is not skewed by any b.s. that may pop out. You know, something like Frommers Travel Guide of Spain...Fold out poster of President Elect of the World Barack Obama included!

Anyway, so I grab my book and head over to the politics section and lo and behold, Glenn Beck's book is on the end of the aisle with a sign over it that says "Election '08 The People have spoken!" I said to myself "Self, get your book and get out of here immediately before you say something and get thrown out." Not following my own advice, I realized I was thirsty, and meandered over to the coffee shop to get an overpriced coffee..Regular..10 sugars, a splash of half and half...The young white male behind the counter (with dreadlocks) handed me my coffee and smirked a little when he saw the book I was holding. I repeated silently the words that I had already told myself just a few minutes earlier, and headed to the register to pay for my books.

Arriving at the register, I felt relieved that the sugar in my coffee had calmed me down. You see, caffeine and sugar have the opposite effect on me. Now, I am in line. Some poor guy in front of me with 4 kids in tow that were touching everything was obviously feeling the same way I was when I was having an Obameltdown..complete with sweating, shaking, and heart palpitations. Thank god for coffee. I heard a voice from the far end of the counter beckon me. My torture was nearly over. Arriving at the counter I kept my mouth closed. Not feeling particularly friendly, I mumbled hello and handed the cashier my credit card. "Would you like to buy a book for the Camden Children's Christmas Project Sir?" Again, not feeling particularly friendly and a lot less charitable, in my best Ebenezer Scrooge voice I simply replied "No"...even though inside I wanted to fly over the counter with my best move straight from the WWE. Once I said "no", the friendly service was over, and I wondered to myself if this young lady and Mr. Dreadlocks from the coffee shop held hands and skipped over to the voting booth the day Dear Leader was elected.

I snatched up my bag and left the store. Hearing that door close behind me was like hearing the gates close behind a newly released convict. I felt like I needed a bath. Maybe scrub myself with Ajax or something. I threw my books in the backseat and stood there in the parking lot having a smoke and sipping my overpriced coffee. Perusing the parking lot I observed people lumbering out of stores with bags upon bags slung over one arm, fumbling with cell phones, and pushing buttons on their keychains..bleep bleep! With some creative timing, we could have conducted a symphony with keyless entry remotes. Although this is not really important...much less relevant.

Ever get that feeling someone is watching? While I was standing there, it seemed as if all of the hippies inside were peaking through the blinds to see "The Conservative." "Look! It smokes! That is horrible for the planet! Which reminds me, is this coffee conflict free?" the hippie says. I turn around quick to see the blinds quickly close as if I didn't KNOOOOW they were looking. For just a fleeting moment, I was more famous than Sasquatch. Maybe I should set up an office and I could do speeches from a podium emblazened with "The Office of the Man as Famous as Sasquatch...Elect." It was time to go. My brain had played too many tricks on me in the short period I had been in that store. I jumped in my German car as a famous person would. You know, perfect..with style and panache, turned the engine over, put on my seat belt, and reached for a sip of coffee before braving the Christmas Shopper Autobahn and promptly spilled my conflict free, hippie served, overpriced, and obviously rigged to explode by the far left coffee all over myself.

Long story short, if you go to Border's...Be prepared. Take a Xanax or something..and stay away from the coffee.

I am Lindsay Lohan...

2008-11-16T10:51:00.002-05:00

No not really, and I usually don't follow the Hollywood crowd too much, but this girl (and her family) just leave themselves wide open for much ridicule. In fact, the target is so big on them that if I stood in my backyard and flung an arrow over the top of my house (no matter the wind, the earth's curvature, a flock of southward geese, a big ol' jet airliner, and the occassional meteor shower) it would hit bullseye with my eyes blindfolded and shooting behind my back...

So the latest goof on her part is wearing FUR. Sheesh, don't you know Lilo that you can't be a celebrity and wear a fur stole? However, I might agree that the "flour bomb" you were "pelted" with outside that Paris nightclub was pretty funny. I fail to see the point from the ARA's on that one though...Other than just humiliation, which you should be used to by now. Careful guys, they are tight with the Obama's...:)

Been a While

2008-11-16T10:36:00.002-05:00

Been a while since i've been here...Welcome back to me. Tried the whole "Myspace" blog but wasn't really happy with it. I'll transfer my blogs from there to here eventually. Many things to talk about as of late, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting to see it here...I am sporadic by nature. A product of ADHD and a lethal dose of busy with work, 2 kids, a wife, and a mini-weiner dog puppy.

Who Hires These People To Educate Our Children?

2007-11-22T08:40:00.000-05:00

Today is Thanksgiving. I think we all have a pretty clear understanding what Thanksgiving means, and have our own reasons to be thankful. But get a load of this. While we are all celebrating, remembering, and cozying up to food, fires, and football, one school in Seattle feels the need to turn thanksgiving into some sort of opportunistic political propaganda campaign aimed at smearing a national holiday that has been celebrated in various forms since the 1600's. Alas, another bunch of idiots targeting American ideals, all the while cozying up to the teet and milking the freedoms this country provides. Freedom of Speech is great thing, but one of the biggest things I have learned in life is sometimes you have to know when to shutup and keep your thoughts to yourself. Especially if you are speaking directly on behalf of an institution that educates our children. Had something like this ended up in my mailbox, I might get in the car on Thanksgiving day and drive to the person's house that sent this and have them explain while they are picking turkey out of their teeth. Because you knooooooooow they are celebrating.

Seattle Schools' Thanksgiving 'Myths' Stir Controversy
Thursday, November 22, 2007
By Robert Shaffer
Seattle public schools want a side of political correctness served on your Thanksgiving table.
Washington state's largest school district sent letters to teachers and other employees suggesting Thanksgiving should be "a time of mourning" for its Native American students.
Click here to view the report from FOX News' Dan Springer.
The memo, from Caprice Hollins, the district's director of Equity, Race & Learning Support, included an attachment to a paper titled "Deconstructing the Myths of 'The First Thanksgiving.'"
It includes 11 "myths" disputing everything from what was served at the first Thanksgiving (no mashed potatoes or cranberries) and who provided the food to the nature of the Pilgrims themselves: Myth No. 3 calls the colonists "rigid fundamentalists" who came to the New World "fully intending to take the land away from its native inhabitants."
Click here to read the "myths."

But what got the Internet abuzz was Myth No. 11: "Thanksgiving is a happy time." It was followed by "Fact: For many Indian people, 'Thanksgiving' is a time of mourning ... a bitter reminder of 500 years of betrayal returned for friendship."
Hollins would not defend her letter, but David Tucker, a spokesman for the district, said it was an effort to be sensitive to minorities in Seattle schools.
"One of the core elements in education is not just understanding your own life history but also those of others," he said.
But one Seattle-area tribe says Thanksgiving is not somber on the reservation but a time to see friends and family, as it is for other Americans.
Native Americans in the Northwest celebrate the holiday with turkey and salmon, said Daryl Williams of the Tulalip Tribes. Before the period of bitter and violent relationships between natives and their culturally European counterparts, they worked together to survive, he said.
"The spirit of Thanksgiving, of people working together to help each other, is the spirit I think that needs to grow in this country, because this country has gotten very divisive," he said.
Nationally syndicated talk show host Michael Medved was more blunt.
"The notion that now you have a major school system sending out a message that, no, rather than expressing thanks we should emphasize guilt on this holiday — that is sick, it is destructive and it is anti-American."
Seattle Public Schools has been in the news before, not always for the performance of its students.
The U.S. Department of Education investigated in April after the district spent part of a federal Smaller Learning Communities grant to send 20 students to the "Eighth Annual White Privilege Conference."
After complaints last year, the district removed from its Web site a definition of racism that claimed planning ahead and individualism were examples of cultural racism.
**********************************************************************************

An effort to be more sensitive to minorities???? Give me a break. I'm tired of hearing that. Get over it. Stop turning trying to turn this nation into a bunch of fucking pussies that are afraid to take a step in fear of offending someone. I find it funny that some will curse the ideals of this nation and turn around and leach off its freedoms.

Enviro-Sportsmen?

2007-11-18T08:31:00.000-05:00

While perusing the Ted Nugent editorials in the Waco Tribune, I came across one of his opinions on the environment, and what he is doing to contribute. Nugent starts out by describing a recent trip to a hunting camp where in the morning he emerged from his room and was met by the "gagging" smell of burning diesel fuel. The smell was coming from the 4 custom diesel 4x4 trucks (that he described as easily costing a combined $400k) that were warming up for a 20 minute ride to their hunting grounds. Temperature that morning? 30 degrees. I can kind of agree with Nugent when he said that the trucks probably ran for an hour spewing fumes into the air and wasting fuel, when everyone was already dressed for a 30 degree morning and the fuel wasted did not justify the 20 minute trip to "warm up the trucks."

Now, I don't always agree with Uncle Ted, but I think he pretty well hit the nail on the head on this one. Nugent went on to talk about the effects of wasting fuel, garbage, recycling, etc. and mentioned that his family had turned over a new leaf to be more environmentally conscious.

Most people who disagree with Ted would find some sort of hate to spew about the man because of his strong opinions on other topics instead of seeing the point he was trying to get across. But I think that The Nuge is trying to open people's eyes to one simple fact: How can sportsmen portray themselves as the ultimate environmentalist/conservationists when we leave $400k worth of diesel engines running for an hour to drive 20 minutes in the heat?

My personal opinion is that when you think "Outdoorsman," the one thing that is synonymous with that word is big, gas sucking, engines. It's no secret that the average hunter or fisherman is guilty of using the worlds largest pickup to drive down a trail that MIGHT fit a Hyundai hatchback. But that is something we all need to work on ourselves by changing a mindset with the everyday sportsman/woman. I'm not going to tell someone they shouldn't drive that rig because it sucks so much gas that just starting it up makes the average treehugger go into cardiac arrest, but I might mention to them to shut it off when not in immediate use.

Until the technology to be environmentally friendly is widespread and available to all for cheap, and gives the average sportsman the horsepower/storage they need to do what they need to do, we're all just going to have to deal with the fact that this is what we have. However, we should all encourage the wise use of them instead.

One last note, I surely won't be taking a truck that costs nearly as much as my house into the woods.

Another Mindless Attempt to Stop Gun Crime

2007-11-17T19:07:00.000-05:00

New Jersey. Home of the nonsensical attempt to stop gun crime. State Senator Shirley K. Turner has introduced a bill that would require the firing pins of all new handguns sold in New Jersey be laser etched with a microstamp that would transfer to the shell casing when discharged to help police better identify quickly the owner of the weapon. That would be a fanstastic idea if gang bangers (the target group which this measure is addressed to) purchased their weapons used to whack each other legally. My best guess is that if passed, this measure will have every criminal either headed to a bench grinder, replacing firing pins with those that do not have a microstamp, or just heading over to PA, NY, DE, MD, VA, or any other state to grab a gun, which they already do anyway.

So, more tax dollars wasted to update law books, create new technology so the police can do their job more effectively, and a raise in price to those who wish to purchase a legal firearm for home defense. Hey, but that makes all of those who hate firearms just that much more happier. Another success in punishing the good guy, disguised by the attempt to stop a bad guy, to shamefully further a personal agenda. Ridiculous waste of time. That money could have been used towards youth programs to prevent them from joining gangs in the first place. Or maybe hiring more cops. Or maybe even better the repairing or rebuilding of urban infrastructure that is a breeding ground for gangs. Hey that would be smart, and New Jersey is not smart.

What Will We Do With All Those Cows?

2007-11-10T18:07:00.000-05:00

Earlier today, I was perusing Ed Begely Jr's website. As most may know, ol' Ed has a show on HGTV called Living With Ed which highlights his life as an environmentalist, and ultimately what a pain in the ass he can be. Looking past all of that, I found tons of good information on his site, and I do agree with a lot of them. However, when I clicked over to his recipe section (some of the foods sound really tasty) something popped into my head when I read "Vegan."

Now, I am not one to tell people what they should and should not eat. Unless of course it is gross and unnatural, could result in some sort of hallucinogenic effect, or will just outright kill them. In turn, I expect the same from others. But again, that brings me to a twisted little (big) argument that will NEVER have a solution, but people fight for it everyday. A waste of time and energy really. This argument is those who rally, educate, gather, march against, seek to eliminate, lobby, and in extreme cases resort to terrorism to stop us meatosauruses from naturally feasting upon precious, cute, cuddly, critters to sustain ourselves. It's kind of hysterical really the methods that are used to get points across. Slathering themselves in red paint (simulating blood) as if they are some sort of Jesus for the animals. Or better yet, starving themselves. I have yet to see anyone get what they wanted by starving themselves. Maybe a blurp in the news for some attention, and as soon as the cameras turn off they are mackin' on an eggplant quarter pounder. Tasty. As funny as some of this may sound, this isn't really my point either.

I would like for anyone who reads this to really think of the impact on humans and our planet should we all turn vegetarian. We're talking EVERY SINGLE HUMAN on the planet. No animal products at all, period, ingested into our bodies. Below are a few scenarios to show, based purely on common sense, why this argument will NEVER be won.

1. The Animal Rights Activist:
A pretty broad category that can include every smart scientist on the planet aiming to save endangered species, to every crackpot that wants animals untouched by humans. But I cannot blame people for wanting to preserve threatened species, so i'll stick with the latter for this scenario. I have to ask myself only one question. What will we do with all of those cows if we cannot eat them and fully use them so nothing goes to waste? We'll discuss briefly the environmental concerns in a moment. I find a certain hypocrisy in some of these groups, PETA being the ringleader. Many of these groups though would be happier than a pig in shit if all animals could just roam freely. An irresponsible notion that comes with environmental concerns that are far larger than what we are facing now. Animals eat, breed, deficate, and die, but when you consider that an estimated 1.3 billion cows inhabit this planet, it is really unfathomable to turn them all loose should something so far off the wall happen like the entire world is salivating over a head of lettuce. But we can't kill them because they (The Gods) have said that it is not nice. So they run free. I'll let you run the scenarios in your head of free roaming and uncared for cattle, pigs, sheep, goats, chicken, turkeys, etc. If you think that a livestock farmer is going to just keep them for pets out of kindness, you would be mistaken.

2. The Environmental Activist
Yet another broad category that can cover an ungodly amount of topics ranging from the smart to the stupid. One of the things I mentioned before is the environmental impact of just turning livestock loose. This would not sit well with the Environmental Activist who seeks to solve problems with the environment, not create more. Free roaming animals, in this magnitude, would be devastating. As it stands now, we can control the impact, but just to list a few things that can be damaging to our environment should this happen.
a. Increased excrement, uncontrolled, getting into the ground water.
b. Unlimited breeding potential, not to mention, inbreeding and cross breeding
c. Disease spreading throughout populations that can ultimately be passed to humans or other animals.
d. Cost. The biggie. If no revenue is coming in off of these animals, then you can expect to foot the bill for the care of them. Which means a raise in taxes, insurance costs from contact and damage increases, and for all those veggies we have to grow now to sustain ourselves, the crop damage.
c. Food. What are all of these animals going to eat?

So, the environmental activist sits kind of high on my list of smart things, but only if they don't cross the line over to the dumber side of animal rights activism.

3. The Hunter
Ok, so we've all changed. We are now flinging arrows and bullets at pumpkins and eggplant. Since we are not allowed to hunt animals, the taxpayers will enjoy an increase in the their tax bills to care for not only wild animals, but all of the animals we have set free, also now considered wild. I don't know of too many people on a fixed income that are going to welcome that. I figure that those who despise hunting and actively work to ban it, are financially comfortable enough to pick up the additional costs associated with the care for these animals. Which really is unfathomable also. Considering that the majority of the spokespeople for vegetarianism and animal rights are celebrities, I am sure they wouldn't mind digging deep to help us all. Not. Here is an interesting fact for you: FACT: Sportsmen’s assets equal, $60 billion in retail sales, 1.9 million jobs supported, $8.7 billion in state and federal tax revenues, resulting in a $169 billion ripple effect in our country’s economy.-Congressional Sportsman's Foundation
I don't know that PETA or the HSUS combined could contribute nearly that much to care for the animals they so dramatically want free to roam the planet. Would they even stick around once their goal is accomplished? Probably not. Have they offered any type of plan that would immediately go into effect to care for these animals? Nope.

So, in a nutshell, if people want to eat veggies for life, go for it. Don't let me stop you. Really, I mean that. But don't tell me what I can and cannot eat, and realize that actions to rally the troops around stopping animal usage for sustainment come with a price. A steep one both financially and environmentally.

The Bigger Picture

2007-11-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

Today, our new Wing Commander hosted his first "Wing Commander's Call." Started at 8 a.m., and my shop showed up early, but too late to get a seat. I found myself standing for what I knew would be a typical "this is my platform for this base" speech. However, while the Command Chief was explaining what would be discussed during the commander's speech, I noticed two individuals standing next to the stage at parade rest and looking a little nervous. They dared not move a muscle, shuffle a bit, readjust, whatever. My curiosity was perked why these two gentlemen were standing there. A short time later, the "wing king" entered the building, and nothing short of 500 people stood. "Take your seats please." I wished I had gotten there earlier.

The colonel took the stage and began his welcome speech, taking time to greet some civilians in the front row who had young children they were trying to keep from fidgeting. A quick summary (again) was soon dispatched and the two individuals I had noticed earlier snapped to attention and took the corner of the stage. The chief walked up to a podium and fussed with some papers while the commander began a speech about the "Bigger Picture." Why we are here today in the military. What our goals are as the greatest Air Force on the planet. And the men and women who keep it going. Once he finished with that, he began to identify the two individuals standing on the stage. "Attention to orders" 500 people on their feet again. Excuse me if I get the exact wording wrong, but you get the idea..."This is to certify that the Bronze Star is being awarded to Master Sergeant ____for valor...." "Master Sergeant______distinguished himself in____ Province, Afghanistan for (summarized because I do not have the exact text) all of the missions he was in charge of, most notably the disarmament of an IED while taking hostile fire from enemy forces. Thus saving the lives of X amount of soldiers and civilians." The medal was pinned upon his jacket, take cerificate, picture, shake, salute, applause. Next...
"This is to certify that Senior Airman______ is awarded Army Commendation medal for Valor for his actions while serving in _______Province, Afghanistan. SrA_____was serving with an Army platoon and Danish coalition forces and unselfishly entered a minefield to retrieve the remains of a Danish soldier to return home; while taking enemy fire; and after just seeing a fellow soldier killed by a mine." Again, this is not the exact text, and surely not the whole story, but you get the picture. Pins medal on jacket, take certificate, picture, shake, salute, applause. "Please be seated."

Now, this is surely not something you see everyday in the Air Force, simply because very few of us serve on the front lines. Both of these gentlemen were Explosive Ordinance Disposal. The story of their actions was clouded in my head once I heard "enemy fire, casulties, explosions, return of fire." I immediately noticed the civilians in the front row and understood them to be the individual's families. Kind of makes you think that one wrong move, and those proud family members may be in a different position. But it also makes you think of the selflessness that occurs on the battlefield to serve the greater good. The Bigger Picture. I wished I could have seen the eyes of the children and spouses, parents and siblings who attended and wonder what was going through their mind as the citations were being read.

I know those gentlemen were nervous. They had to be. 500 people of every rank imaginable at base level staring at you can be quite intimidating. "Don't screw up the facing movement...DON'T SCREW UP THE FACING MOVEMENT!"

The last few weeks for me have been rather irritating. I have been bombarded with every kind of drama one could think of coming from a group of young inexperienced airmen. All the while preparing for a major inspection, and juggling a crazy schedule that allows no sleep for my significant other because of the kids. I was reminded today that my miniscule existence in the military is not so, and that drama should be squelched at the very mention of it. Regenerated, Rejuvinated. Those two gentlemen on stage may have been shaking in their boots, nervous with pride, but should I place their boots on I might need a smaller size or several thick socks. Those are big boots to fill.

I have much work to do on my attitude.

My SLOW Transformation to Self Sufficient Living

2007-11-04T08:25:00.000-05:00

Step 1

Ok folks. I'll bite. This theory of self-sufficient living has a hook in the corner of my mouth and is dragging me from the depths of wasteful consumerism into the cleanliness of this lifestyle that is going to do my mental state wonders. It's going to take some time, and the support and understanding of others close to me, but ultimately it will be better for my health in the long run.

So, lets begin with my house. Chock full of junk that needs a new home to clutter. Only the beginning. In fact, my very existence in this home is wasteful. You see, I am a marketing sucker. But my mindset is slowly changing. Mainly because of my career. Recently we went through a new process called "LEAN." In fact, I am so sick of that word that just typing it makes the little hairs on my neck stand up. But, overall it is a good process that eliminates waste in all of its forms (time, junk, etc.). Many corporations have slimmed down their overhead and improved production because of this process. Toyota, FedEx, and countless others are getting on the bandwagon. It is kind of nice because after I "leaned" out my workcenter I found that I was spending way too much time and aggravation managing things that don't need to be there in the first place. This has left my time open to get my shop back down to a basic function level that is simple, user friendly, and functions in order to provide a better product and service. Now I must do the same with my house. This will take place this winter while I am stuck in it. I must go to the mecca of waste, Wal Mart, and buy large .5 mil trash bags.

My wife and kids will undeniably be part of this transformation if I have to do it at gunpoint. But I will never forget that I too am part of the problem of not practicing conscious consumerism. The results of "leaning my house" will be as follows:

1. Less junk means less junk to manage, clean, or be responsible for.
2. Better utilization of space, resulting in a happier me.
3. All of this will result in a better mental state that will allow me to happily function within this family. This also means more time together, less time cleaning, and more money in my bank account as less will be spent on crap.

I often wonder an exact dollar amount of how much more I am spending a month on a home that was chosen based on its ability to house junk?

Stay tuned for more transformations.

Welcome.

2007-11-04T08:11:00.000-05:00

Welcome all. My name is Dan and in this blog you will read some pretty crazy stuff. Or is it? Feel free to post comments on all topics, and there will be many, but I do ask one thing: If I make you angry, or you don't agree with my opinion, feel free to tell me so. But do so in a manner that I can understand. I don't bother reading comments from those who are so angry they cannot spell or form a proper sentence structure.

Now, with the unpleasantries out of the way, enjoy and I hope to teach you something or have you do the same for me. After all, to educate you must discuss.

Topics in this blog will range from just about anything you can imagine that is going on in this world today. I have a variety of interests, and in a better effort to not chew my better half's ear off with the Ramblings of Dan (thus saving my marriage) you can find my thoughts here, and maybe recommend a good psychiatrist.